


One night in Antwerp

by gold_finch



Category: The Goldfinch (2019), The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:21:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23836822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gold_finch/pseuds/gold_finch
Summary: Set the first night in Antwerp. Theo is scared, Boris is soft
Relationships: Theodore Decker & Boris Pavlikovsky
Kudos: 27





	One night in Antwerp

It started out innocently enough. It was Theo's first night in Antwerp and they were sitting on Boris's couch watching an old movie, passing a cigarette back and forth.  
It felt familiar and normal, or as normal as could be expected after what had happened in Amsterdam, and Theo's anxiety had finally started to calm. They were drinking but not quite yet drunk, bottles of beer on the coffee table before them.  
The movie's credits started rolling and they sat in comfortable silence for a few moments before Boris spoke up.  
"Potter?"  
"Hmm?"  
"I do not have a wife."  
Theo blinked at him in surprise. And then he started to laugh.  
"What so funny?" Boris asked, but he started to laugh too. They both laughed somewhat hysterically for a moment, Boris clapping Theo on the knee.  
Theo's relieved laughter trailed off and he eventually managed, "I didn't really believe you did Boris."  
Boris frowned slightly. "Yes. Is the problem. I lie to you about wife and children and many other things."  
He stubbed out the cigarette butt and turned more towards Theo on the couch. "I do not want to do this anymore. Lying to people."  
Theo was taken a bit off guard by the somber turn of conversation. "It's okay," he started to say.  
"No. Is not. I lie about things that i should not lie about." Boris looked at him intently, eyes big and serious. Theo started to feel a vague sense of panic in his gut.  
"I say things I do not mean. And it always ends up bad. Listen Potter, is important."  
Theo felt a sense of impending doom and his palms started to sweat.  
Boris closed his eyes briefly and seemed to steel himself. "What I said before about us, is not true. That we needed girls, that it didn't mean anything. I don't know why I said this."  
Theo couldn't meet his eyes.  
"I think I was scared. It had been long time and- "  
Theo stood up jerkily and his eyes darted around the room. He was in full panic mode now.  
"Potter? Am trying to tell you something. What are you-"  
Theo blindly started walking towards the door to the apartment, he needed to exit this conversation right now.  
Boris watched him open-mouthed for a second before leaping over the back of the couch after him.  
"Potter!"  
Theo yanked open the door shakily, but Boris had reached him and slammed it shut.  
"Potter please." They were standing very close together in front of the door and Theo's paniced breathing was becoming louder.  
"Theo?" Boris said softly, with too much t and not enough h.  
Tears blurred Theo's vision now and he realised he was having a panic attack. "I need to- sit down." He choked out as he sank to the ground, too quickly.  
Boris followed him quickly, sitting opposite him on the wooden floor. "Is okay." He said quietly.  
Theo shook his head vigorously, tears spilling from his eyes.  
"Theo. Is all okay."  
Theo stifled a sob.  
"Am going to hug you now, okay?"  
Theo didn't answer as tears streamed down his face. Boris shuffled forwards and put his arms around him carefully.  
"Is all okay." Theo leaned into him and pressed his face into Boris's shoulder, sobbing. Boris muttered softly in Ukrainian and stroked his back.  
Theo shakily put his arms around Boris's waist and they clung together like children, like they used to in the middle of the night in Theo's bed in Las Vegas.  
When Theo's breathing had calmed and his tears had slowed they pulled apart a little and Boris reached up to gently remove Theo's glasses, and wipe his tears off his cheeks. Theo blushed, then blushed harder when he realized Boris had ended up in his lap somewhat.  
Boris held his face gently in his hands and Theo managed to meet his eyes. He could see that there were tears on Boris's cheeks too.  
"Feel better?"  
Theo nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He felt hyper aware of his hands on Boris, how close they were.  
They looked at each other for a long moment. Theo's heart beat raced in the silence.  
"Am not going to kiss you unless you do it this time." Boris said softly.  
Theo suddenly felt a lot braver than he ever had, sitting on the floor of Boris's apartment with Boris looking at him like that. So he leaned forward and kissed him.  
They kissed softly, tentatively at first. This was something they had only done once before. As their kiss deepened they clutched at each other somewhat frantically. So much time had passed, so many years wasted.  
They paused to breathe, their foreheads pressed together.  
"Boris." Theo whispered hoarsely.  
"Hmm." He was smiling softly, eyes closed.  
Theo finally managed to say what he almost said that night all those years ago, after Boris had kissed him in the street.  
"I love you."


End file.
